slit wrist theory

still here.

2006-08-13T05:39:00.000+08:00

Hey all, yours truly is currently working on a new side project.
He's not dead if you need to know.

Be sure to check back here regularly cause he will be telling you what he's working on soon.
Very very soon.

Till then.

errk.

2006-08-07T03:47:00.000+08:00

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger.
You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause.
You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you!
A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

maneater- nelly furtado.

2006-08-07T03:10:00.000+08:00

Everybody look at me, me
I walk in the door you start screaming
Come on everybody what chu here for?
Move your body around like a nympho
Everybody get your necks to crack around
All you crazy people come on jump around
I want to see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to be with me, or be me

[Chorus]
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, real hard in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all

[Verse 2]
And when she walks she walks with passion
when she talks, she talks like she can handle it
when she asks for something boy she means it
even if you never ever seen it
everybody get your necks to crack around
all you crazy people come on jump around
you doing anything to keep her by your side
because, she said she love you, love you long tim

[Chorus]
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, real hard in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all

[Chorus]
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, real hard in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all

Never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all
you wish you never ever met her at all
you wish you never ever met her at all
you wish you never ever met her at all

bonding session.

2006-08-05T15:17:00.000+08:00

Row row row ur boat gently down the stream
when you see a crocodile, dont forget to scream
AAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Yes! Dragonboating!
The second year students and lecturers of the Admin Department went for a dragonboating bonding session.
It was uber cool and of course, I had lots of fun.

We were considerably the best team w/ the most potential, the most sporting and the most expected team to win, but somehow, we lost.
But dont worry we're still the best.
The winners may win, but we did have the MOST fun as a class compared to other groups.
And thats all that matters =)

And oh, congrats to the all-girls team who won.
I salute man =)

But to those who won and criticise those who lose,
you got a big FUCK YOU from me.
FUCK OFF and DIE please.

So after the race, showered in a jiffy in the small, dark and unpleasent toilet.
Gross, I noe.
Lucky for me, I brought an extra undie and towels.
Heh.

Some people went home with wet undies and theres also some who doesnt wear undies at all!
Imagine how uncomfortable that is!
Haaaa.

Went to Suntec and had our lunch at BK.
And then headed home and rested my aching body.
My arms espcially.

So in other words, on Friday, I had fun and at the same time I got my skin one tone darker and brought home numerous of muscle cramps.

So if anyone got any whitening products to intro to me, pls do so.
I am so desperate to get rid of my blackness~~~

Question relating TPS.
So.... if SRA and SHA = Singpore Retailers Association and Singapore Hotel Association respectively,

wat is SDBA????

=)

TPS.

2006-08-03T22:32:00.000+08:00

Tourism Products & Services test was ok.
It was do-able.
But the thought of many people saying that it is hard, made me loose my confidence of getting a 40/50 at least.

Im quite delighted though, considering that i dont regret and i feel so light hearted after the paper was over.
Which is a positive sign, cause I always worry and stress myself after exams.
Always.

:D

2006-07-31T16:50:00.000+08:00

Office Admin CA was pretty easy.
Thank God I studied the day before.
I never knew last minute revision helped this much.
Haha.

But I shall not do last minute revision the next time cause I hate the feeling.
Nervous. Felt like giving up. Brain about to explode... to name a few.

And oh, STOCK RECORD came out!
Heee.
I was lucky cause I didnt know anything other then stock record.
Boohoo.

Ahhhhhh.
Finally, I feel motivated to study for the year-end exams and get a f*cking 4.0 this time.

deja vu.

2006-07-30T01:23:00.000+08:00

So we're the second group to hand in our TPS report.
Im happy enough with it, considering we started compiling and editing everyone's part just after school reopens.

And not to mention the brochure we did at the very last minute.
2 days before dateline to be exact.
Boohoo.

But Im very HAPPY lah!

Like for the first time, Edna Mode loves it.
She likes the idea of our brochure.
The feeling is so great at that moment I swore Im having an orgasm.

And to my friend AKA my partner in crime for all the other projects that we've done,
YET ANOTHER ONE OF OUR GREAT WORKS!! :)))))
Ode to us (:

And to the rest of my group members, its been great working with yall.
This is just the beginning.
OA next. And we'll impress the lecturer again!
Heeeeee.

Ok this sounded like a Grammy speech.
Booooooo.
But im just F*CKING HAPPY please!!!!

hello.

2006-07-24T18:40:00.000+08:00

First of all, Internet Explorer users, please blardy convert to Mozilla Firefox to view my blog at its best. Thank you.

Secondly, I promised to myself, never to watch horror movies ever again.
Especially Asian horror movies like Shutter.

Fecking hell. I was swearing and cursing the whole time I watched it.
And now, I tend to sleep super duper early cause I dont want to encounter with anything funny after midnight. Urgh.

Ok so after like a whole juicy week of no entries, here I am, back again (:
Heeeee.
I made a new template if you didnt realise by now.
Was inspired by Samantha Ronson's Built This Way.

so uhhhh... Enjoy!

(this is a crappy entry. I know! G'bye!)

Get to see me blog lesser cause Ive got so many assignments to catch up with.
Office Admin CA next week.
Booo.

built this way- samantha ronson.

2006-07-24T17:40:00.000+08:00

Did you ever feel like you wanna be
someone else for just one day
did u ever feel like you wanna see
through another pair of eyes
Did u ever think I might wanna be
with anyone else for just one day
Did u ever really think of me
when I walked away

The look the dunks and the bottle of Jack
the smokes the slouch and my eyes back
you think you know what you think you'll find
you think you'll figure me out tonight
but you'll never know what I won't share
coz I don't care, no I don't care
you think you'll figure me out tonight
but I don't care

And I wonder, if I'm just built this way
coz everyone that I know makes me feel like I'm to blame
when it's over, me and my selfish ways
go back to start again
go back to start again

Did u ever feel like you should have said
something smarter at the time
Did u ever feel like you should have kept
it all to yourself
Did u ever think it might be your fault
I never promised anymore
Did u ever think it might not be me
now it was always me

The look the dunks and the bottle of Jack
the smokes the slouch and my eyes back
you think you know what you think you'll find
you think you'll figure me out tonight
but you'll never know what I won't share
coz I don't care, no I don't care
you think you'll figure me out tonight
but I don't care

And I wonder, if I'm just built this way
coz everyone that I know makes me feel like I'm to blame
when it's over, me and my selfish ways
go back to start again

And I wonder, if I'm just built this way
coz everyone that I know makes me feel like I'm to blame
when it's over, me and my selfish ways
go back to start again
go back to start again

The look the dunks and the bottle of Jack
the smokes the slouch and my eyes back
you think you know what you think you'll find
you think you'll figure me out tonight
but you'll never know what I won't share
coz I don't care, no I don't care
you think you'll figure me out tonight
but I don't care

And I wonder, if I'm just built this way
coz everyone that I know makes me feel like I'm to blame
when it's over, me and my selfish ways
go back to start again

And I wonder, if I'm just built this way
coz everyone that I know makes me feel like I'm to blame
when it's over, me and my selfish ways
go back to start again
go back to start again
go back to start again

sins.

2006-07-16T17:41:00.000+08:00

Im frustrating as Im blogging right now.

Mom wants everything.
I know shes a perfectionist, but she cant force me to be a blardy darn perfectionist too.

She not only wants me to be good in academics, but also in my religious knowledge. Pfft.
Im just a human.
I make mistakes and sins just as we're supposed to.

Oh for Gods sake mom, no one can be perfect.
Every individual has its flaws. We all are imperfect beings.
And I believe that imperfection is the beauty of all.

Ok so I went to religious class on a sunday morning.
Sunday morning ok!
I am suppose to sleep till 3pm.
But instead, I woke up at 9.30am. Blergh.
Ok nevermind. Fine.

I almost died while waiting for bus number 98.
While waiting for that darn bus, I counted five 99 double deck busses (not kidding!!) already past by.

Imagine how frustrated I was!

Bila nak pegi sekolah naik 99 satu pun takder. 98 yang berlambak. Skarang bile ku nak naik 98.... 99 berlambak!
Macam syial bukan?

U know, I got so mad till the extent that I was gonna slip off my flip flops and slap that bus drivers' face with it, though its not really his fault. Heh!
But I waited for blardy 30 mins ok!

The whole time I was scolding vulgar to myself.
Hurhur.
Crazy, I noe.

I read Berita Minggu today.
Was reading the column.
The one about involving youths with mosque activities.
I was reading this particular issue,

"...... ada beberapa orang anak muda perempuan yang mengadu ditegur dengan kasar oleh pegawai mesjid sebab berada di kawasan mesjid tanpa bertudung"

Columnist replies, "Yang tak betul memanglah perlu ditegur. Tapi cara menegur biarlah betul. Kita tak harus main tengking dan herdik, sebab itu biadab namanya."

I couldnt agree more.
I have experienced it personally to prove my point.
I label these people as Extremist.

It was a few years ago.
Religious class was in the evening between 7.30 to 9.30.
And around 8.30pm, we can either go outside to have our break or pray for the night prayers.

I chose to go out to the nearby coffeeshop with a friend of mine to buy some drinks.

As we were to make our way to the gate, we were stopped by an extremist.
Angin takder, ribut takder, he confronted us in a very loud and harsh tone, asking where we were going and why are we not praying.

I was like, "what the fcuk? Why do you have to care?
Its none of your bees wax. I know its your responsibility as a Muslim to remind us.
But you dont need to go the extra mile and force me to do what I dont intend to at that point of time ok."

Me and my friend turned and walked away.
We ignored him like as though he's one odd pillar standing among the gates.
Blardy hell I tell you.

You dont have to be aggressive to remind me of such things.
YOUR God doesnt teach you to be agressive, should I remind you.

Ok. Enough of my preachings.
Heh heh.

My mom LOVES him so so much.

Me: Mak suke dier nie?? Apsal? Mata sepet jer.
Mom: *grinning* sebenarnyer, dier nie macam boyfriend mak dulu. *blushes*

Oh brother.
Help?

justified.

2006-07-14T17:26:00.000+08:00

Thursday, 13 July 2006- The FIFA Disciplinary Committee has today opened disciplinary proceedings against Italian player Marco Materazzi. The proceedings were initiated in the light of initial statements from French player Zinedine Zidane who, having head-butted Materazzi during the final of the 2006 FIFA World Cupâ� in Berlin on 9 July, has since indicated in an interview that his actions came in response to repeated provocation from the Italian player.

As stated in a media release published on 11 July, FIFA will investigate the circumstances surrounding the incident in detail. As part of the process, Zinedine Zidane will be given the right to be heard by means of a written statement, which must be submitted by 18 July. Materazzi will subsequently be sent a copy of the statement so that he can respond to it. Both players have been summoned to attend a face-to-face hearing before the Disciplinary Committee at FIFA headquarters in Zurich on Thursday, 20 July.

The FIFA Disciplinary Committee is expected to reach a decision later that day, which will be announced in a media release.

Ahhhhhh. Finally. Justice will be served on Zidane's part.
Oh btw, Materazzi deserved the oh-so-wonderful headbutt.
He deserve more than that actually, in my humble opinion (:

Cancerian.

2006-07-14T16:08:00.000+08:00

Cancer

Date: June 22 to July 23.
Key phrase: I feel.
Symbol: The Crab.
Ruling Planet: Moon.
Strengths: Kind, sympathetic, controlled, disciplined, sensitive, loyal.
Weaknesses: Moody, dreamy, Self pity, moody, clinging, manipulative, overly-emotional, insecure.
Compatible sign: Scorpio, Pieces.
Incompatible sign: Libra, Aries.

Introduction.....
This Sign is ruled by the Moon and, therefore, people born under this sign are sometimes also referred as "Moon Children". A Cancer person's emotions often shift according to the cycle of that shimmering orb. These people have moods that are frequently varied and changeable.

Though cancerians may seem to have a very tough exterior, but these people are emotionally quite intense and deeper than they appear on the surface. In reality they are sensitive and understanding. These people get easily influenced by environment around them. They are generally quite creative, ~~romantic~~, with a strong love of home, family and tradition. They are also good communicators. Their deep sensitive nature presents them with important and revealing intuition, especially regarding those they care for.

Cancerians have two contrasting sides of personality outwardly they are hard and determined but in their interior, they are soft and vulnerable. Being ruled by the moon with the element of water Cancerians are Home loving and emotional.
Generally they get so stressed-out that their normally shy behavior can turn on others like a sudden earthquake. They worry to the point of paranoia and feel that everyone either uses them or ignores them.

Personality.....
Cancerians are often shy and sensitive, but they can be brave and courageous about protecting their friends and loved ones. Many Cancer people have wonderful imaginations and by using it, they can create fine stories and paintings. Cancerian energy is emotional, sensitive and giving.

Cancer people have a deep, mysterious, gentle quality which makes them think of gazing into a cool, deep pool or into the flowing waters of a river. They feel at their best when they are close to their family and feel safe and secure in a warm, happy home. These people have strong emotions and are aware of the atmosphere of feelings that surround them.

By nature a cancer-born is quiet and somewhat reserved, frequently retreating or putting up a protective barrier when they feel any threat. One of their peculiar characteristic is that these people tend to cling to reminders and memorabilia of their family and of earlier times. Many of them are ~~attracted to collecting antiques~~, and would collect just about everything they can get hold of. These people know that they get easily hurt and therefore want to protect themselves all the time. To them, emotional security is of utmost important.

Career.....
Cancerians make good business people, combining artistry, originality and drive with an understanding of financial matters, marketing and the needs of the public. These people make an excellent employ as they are always Hardworking and dedicated.

They are loyal to their superiors and respect authority, which makes them supportive and protective of the boss and rarely questioning company policy. Though these people always respect the authority, but they rarely compromise their views, and prefer working independently and in control of affairs.

Cancerians are ambitious, and a hard worker. Since these people always strive for security and invest lot of their energy in this regard, they are fiercely protective of family, co-workers, organization, or whatever they are devote to. These people are likely to accumulate wealth because they are very careful about how they spend their money and want to secure their future.

Strength.....
Cancer is the archetypal image of the bond between mother and son. These people are often seen as 'motherly figure' because of their Nurturing, protective, tenacious and emotionally sensitive nature.

These people greatly value strong traditional roots as it is hard for them to break away from their early upbringing and depart from the family traditions they have experienced since their childhood.

Cancer produces a parenting instinct that is caring, protective, and indulging They have an exceptionally good memory, especially for names, dates, and historical events. These people are very kindhearted and have sympathetic nature.

Weaknesses.....
Cancer's strong preference is to evaluate everyone and everything in terms of feelings and values which at times may make them feel incredibly vulnerable because others seem to have easy access to their emotional life.

They are extremely sensitive and their feelings can be easily hurt, but they hide this vulnerability behind a somewhat dignified exterior. Their moods are at times very fluctuating and extremely unpredictable.

They can also employ cunning tricks at times to get what they want, if they can't get it from straight ways. Sometimes these people simply let their heart rule over their head, and this may result in trouble making a rational, detached decision. By nature, these people are suspicious and distrusting, although, surprisingly, they tend to almost naively trust their own feelings and their sixth sense.

Read yours! (go to the utmost bottom of the page)

see. me. beat.

2006-07-14T09:33:00.000+08:00

Great.
Just as I was about to go dowstairs to buy something to eat for breakfast, it started raining.
Thanks eh.
Just what I need.

Someone. Please slap me.
I cant seem to be getting enough of Buttons by none other than The Pussycat Dolls!
Heeeee!
This is crazy lah.

Ok. I confess. This song is haunting me can?
Normally I dont dish this kind of songs, but I've been finding myself singing to this song unconsciously these past few weeks.

When Im eating. When Im drinking. When Im watching the TV. When I was about to go to sleep. When Im reading the newspaper. When Im in the TOILET!

I tell you, one of these days, Im gonna find myself singing this number in my sleep.
Blardy hell.

Perhaps I should blame these sex kittens for being so 'violent' in their music videos and on stage.
Hurhur :p
What can I say, SEX SELLS.

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (uh huh)
but you keep fronting (uh)
saying what you going to do to me (uh huh)
but i ain't seen nothing (uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (uh huh)
but you keep fronting (uh)
saying what you going to do to me (uh huh)
but i ain't seen nothing (uh)

OK.
Now someone has definitely gotta kick me in the ass cause I cant seem to stop shaking all over!
And thats ugly i tell you!!!

stronger than me- amy winehouse.

2006-07-11T21:23:00.000+08:00

You should be stronger than me
You been here 7 years longer than me
Don't you know you're supposed to be the man,
Not pal in comparison to who you think I am,

You always wanna talk it through - I don't care!
I always have to comfort you when I'm there
But that's what I need you to do - stroke my hair!

Cos' I've forgotten all of young love's joy,
Feel like a lady, but you my lady boy,

You should be stronger than me,
But instead you're longer than frozen turkey,
Why'd you always put me in control?
All I need is for my man to live up to his role,
Always wanna talk it through- I'm ok,
Always have to comfort you every day,
But that's what I need you to do - are you gay?

Cause I've forgotten all of young love's joy
Feel like a lady, and you my lady boy

He said 'the respect I made you earn -
Thought you had so many lessons to learn'
I said 'You don't know what love is - get a grip!' -
Sounds as if you're reading from some other tired script

I'm not gonna meet your mother anytime
I just wanna rip your body over mine
So tell me why you think that's a crime

I've forgotten all of young love's joy
Feel like a lady, and you my lady boy

You should be stronger than me
You should be stronger than me
You should be stronger than me

10 8 6 5 4 3 2 1 5

2006-07-11T04:22:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Nor.

10 Favourites
Favourite colour : purple.
Favourite food : nasi goreng/laksa.
Favourite song : currently Stronger Than Me- Amy Winehouse.
Favourite movie : X Men.
Favourite sport : hockey/floorball.
Favourite day of the week : Wednesday.
Favourite ice cream flavour : cookie crumble.
Favourite car model : Volkswagen Beetle Cabrio.
Favourite subject in school : art.
Favourite snacks : hello panda.
Current mood : cranky.
Current taste : salivary?
Current clothes : black t-shirt/three quarters.
Current desktop : hewlett packard.
Current toenail colour : erk. opaque-ish?
Current time : 0430 hrs.
Current surroundings : bed/pc/closet/windows/door/posters/books/music.
Current annoyance(s) : the fridge/ that 7-11 manager/ that animal abuser/ that guy across the street.
Current thoughts : "fcuk school projects. ah huh! yeah!"

8 First(s)
First best friend : syami. lost contact.
First crush : H******.
First movie : Bambi!
First piercing : dont have one.
First lie : Told my friends I own 20 cats when actually I have none. Poor me. Too obsessed w/ cats but mom refuse to keep one.
First music : Zombie- The Cranberries. (my aunt's loud music)
First car : the family car?
First real date venue : errk.

7 Last(s)
Last drink : strawberry milk.
Last car ride : to Simei. Super duper mom drived.
Last "movie crush" : anything w/ Angelina Jolie.
Last phone call : Kak ija.
Last song played : Club Foot- Kasabian.
Last food ate : nasi goreng.
Last thing I do before I go to sleep : apply moisturiser on my face.

6 Have You Ever(s)
Have you ever dated one of your best friends : no.
Have you ever broken the law : many times.
Have you ever been arrested : nope.
Have you ever skinned dipped: what?
Have you ever been on TV : no.
Have you ever kissed someone you didn't know : of course not.

5 Things You Are Wearing
black t-shirt.
black three quarters.
contact lenses.
undergarments.
moisturiser.

4 Things You've Done Today
bathe the spoilt cat.
killed 2 cockroaches.
clean the mess in my room. finally.
collect my lenses at Yi Optics.
check the letterbox.

3 Things You Can Hear Right Now
me sniffing.
the fan.
my foot tapping.

2 Things You Can't Live Without
music.
mom. nuff said.

1 Thing You Do When You Are Bored
try to find something to do.

5 Peeps To Carry On The Game
you.
him.
her.
them.
they.

someone.

2006-07-02T04:07:00.000+08:00

Now that I've talked things out with someone about someone,
I feel oh so much better.
Am so glad that Im not the only one who feels the same way towards someone.
Ahhh. The joys of letting it out and not keeping it to yourself.

Surprising?
Nope. Its too darn obvious till the extent that it became the talk of everyone.

Someone, I wish you all the best.
I cant help you no more.
I dont see the need to advise you when you're not even listening.

So someone, if you're reading this, jangan terase ehk.

stoopid primary school field trip.

2006-07-01T03:09:00.000+08:00

Went to Jurong Birdpark with the rest of class SL on Friday the 30th.
Before the trip, I really am not looking forward to it. At all.
U know, the birdpark... boring... birds... flying... cages... and what not.

But, the birds there proved me wrong.
And here I am, eating up my own words. Heh.

We went for the Birds of Prey Show @ 1000 hrs.
After the show, we kinda lost our way towards the Penguin Parade, going the very opposite way instead and ended up hiking the humid Waterfall Aviary.
Cool shit huh? Heh.

And so we're late for the main highlight of the day: the purpose of the field trip; behind the scene of the Birds of Prey Show.
We get to see different birds of prey like the bald eagle, the barn owl among others.

But what captured my eyes is this particular bird, the Secretary Bird.

Meet Sheena (or is it Sheila? pick one)

She's pweeety riteeeeeeee??
Intelligent sumore.

Perhaps she could've beaten out all the other bird species in a bird pageant, with her intelligence, long legs and nicely toned feathers.
Even the over rated, over colored and overly proud peacock would lose out. Hah.

Wanna know why her species is called the Secretary Bird??
Well, its simply because, their 'pencil' like feathers sticking out of their heads looked like pencils where the office secretaries in the olden days use to put ontop of their ears.

Get the idea? No?
These birds somehow reminded me of those french couture models,
with their hats and long legs strutting down the runway.
Coolness.

I wana bring one home lah!!!
Everyone likes the Secretary Bird. Just ask around!

After we explored every bird there is, time for us to meet and interact with a vulture.
yes, VULTURE.
I was one of the few lucky ones who got picked by Edna Mode to hold and feed the vulture. (even though she didnt want to pick latecomers at first! huhu!)
Oh well, kissing butts get you places ya know. Heh!

When its my turn to hold the vulture, I was kinda trembling a little.
But I try to hide it lah.

The vulture was suppose to fly and land on my hand... but instead,
it fly straight INTO MY FACE!!!
But nothing happened cause I didnt feel anything except fot its large wings slapping my face.

We were dismissed around 12+pm and we went to have our late breakfast at Jurong Point's Banquet.
I had Ban Mian!! and Takoyaki Balls!!
Like finally, i get to eat what I craved for.

Heres a photo I took at the Waterfall Aviary.
I'll upload all the other photos once I get it from friends.

OK. End of grandmother-grandfather story.
Ovour.

worn me down like a road.

2006-06-29T04:50:00.000+08:00

School is totally wearing me out.
Im so tired of school.

Its not like last time where I can skip classes whenever I dont feel like coming,
till the extend that I'm one of those who had the worst attendance and not to forget, being chased after rapidly by lecturers.
But I learned my lesson ok.

Now, my heart shatters whenever I see a '0' out of nowhere in my attendance record.

Like, if I turn up consantly-- attendance is perfect-- so far so good and suddenly, my record turns ugly just cause I didnt attend ONE blardy lesson cause I overslept.
Macam sial, bukan?

I guess I need to relax and take time out.
Forget about my attendance.

On a lighter note, HOLIDAYS in two days away!
Am gonna spend the time resting and of course, finish projects and revise OA!
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

put your record on- corinne bailey rae.

2006-06-29T00:35:00.000+08:00

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sombre and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the road side,
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Gotta love that afro hairdo.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Just more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer.
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, you're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

0230

2006-06-27T02:16:00.000+08:00

It has come to a point where I'm starting to ask,
"Whats the purpose of Tourism Products & Services?"

Im starting to think that this module is downright stoopid and irrelevant.
Why must we do a project on creating a tour package?
Why do we have to sit for exams which test us on tourist destinations, climate/cultural experience, modes of transportation and accomodation?
And most of all, what does all of this have to do with Business Administration?

No expectations, therefore no disappointments.

0930

2006-06-27T01:38:00.000+08:00

Ok.
My birthday is getting nearer and of course,
my wishlist is starting to grow longer. Heh.

My wants:

Apple MacBook

Nikon Coolpix S5.

Creative ZEN Vision:M

So Mom, if you happen to chance upon my blog, which I doubt so,
please take note of these three things ok.
Either one will do.
Make it as a surprise for me.
I'll pretend I didnt know anything.

7th heaven.

2006-06-22T03:47:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Azri.

7 Random Facts About Me
Insomniac. Am a nite owl.
I'm recovering from bad skin/acne.
I can be very VERY cunning.
Obsessed with The Body Shop products.
Semi-sepet eyes. Button nosed. Need more eyebrows. Hah.
Still keeping my Backstreet Boys, N'sync, Britney Spears CD from 2000. Oppps!
Of pure Javanese/Indonesian on Dad's side and pure Malay on Mom's. So that makes me half of everything. Heeee.

7 Things That Scared Me
Being in the dark.
Fatimah Rocker. Gule-gule putih.
Big waters eg. Sea, Lake, Ocean. Am afraid of drowning. Swimming pools are an exception.
Cockroaches.
Dying a horrible death.
Losing my loved ones.
The sight of blood. Operations etc.

7 Random Music At The Moment
Hit my heart- Benny Benassi.
Hot stuff- Donna Summer.
Here comes mary- The Raveonettes.
In like with you- Yeti.
Get together- Madonna.
Autumn Leaves- Eva Cassidy.
Tears Don't Fall- Bullet for My Valentine.

7 Things I Like The Most
Computer w/ internet access.
My room.
Windows media player.
Super duper sweet Milo w/ ice.
Sleeping at 4 am and panicking when waking up late for classes.
Blogging/reading blogs.
Leslie Feist.

7 Things I Say The Most
'Class kat mane arh?'
'OH.MY.GOD.'
'Like wtf seh'
'Oh... Fishh'
'Kejut aku lagi ten minutes'.
'Wei!'
'Oh sh!t'

7 People To Do This
The Supergoddess.
Eka.
Fhasha.
Fiza.
Sahidah.
Nora.
Ash.

5 things.

2006-06-22T02:40:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Eka.

5 snacks I gorge myself with.
Mars ice cream bar.
Brownies.
Mac's fries.
Hello Panda biscuit.
Do pizzas count?

5 songs I sing and tear people's ears apart.
Smells like teen spirit- nirvana.
Don't speak- No Doubt.
Unfaithful- Rihanna.
The Kill- 30 secs to mars.
Bliss- Tori Amos.

5 things I would do with a million bucks.
Liposuction.
Attend concerts of fav artistes endlessly.
Get a house in Holland V area, w/ gardens of exotic plants and a sophisticated interior.
Set up a business/cafe/restaurant with the cousins.
Volkswagen Beetle Cabrio.
(*kidding on the first one. heh.)

5 places I seek refuge.
Blog.
Grams' place.
My room.
Music.
The TV.

5 things I'll never wear.
Brightly colored shirts.
Tight outfits.
Uncomfortable clothes.
Cosmetics.
Erm, earrings/studs?

5 bad habits.
This habit of repeating our physical actions. I dont know if theres a name for it.
Procrastinating.
Biting nails.
Refusing to excercise and go on diet. Hee!
Wake up late and take cab to skool. Wooo~

5 joys.
Mom.
Family. Cousins.
Improved attendence tremendously.
7-eleven. I could stand there for hours trying to decide what to indulge myself with. Heh!
LAKSA!

5 things I am handicapped without.
My glasses. I'll get clumsy w/o it.
My computer.
My lucky ring. Heeee.
Dermatologist.
Mom.

5 fictional characters I would date.
Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) - FRIENDS.
Raven Baxter (Raven Symone) - That's so Raven.
Piper Halliwell (Holly Marie Combs) - Charmed.
Dory (Ellen DeGeneres) - Finding Nemo.
Violet (Milla Jovovich) - UltraViolet

5 Gorgeous people I will tag and make them do this.
Dil.
Juni.
Nora.
Sahidah.
Ash.

i thank you.

2006-06-22T00:37:00.000+08:00

To my superior,
thank you very much for the criticism.
I really took it as a constructive one.
Appreciate it a lot.
Thanks again.

God bless you.

autumn leaves- eva cassidy.

2006-06-19T13:07:00.000+08:00

The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sunburned hand I used to hold

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I'll hear old winter's song
But I miss you most of all, my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sunburned hand I used to hold

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I'll hear old winter's song
But I miss you most of all, my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

I am so grateful that Eva graced this earth with her amazing talent.
Someday, I hope to shake hands with her in heaven.

RIP Eva Cassidy- 1963-1996

five things.

2006-06-19T05:36:00.000+08:00

staying alive.

2006-06-19T05:13:00.000+08:00

Okay.
I thought of neglecting my blog for a while, only to find out that i cant live w/o it.
I cant help not to blog.
I need this space to blurt out things which I cant get it out of my head.

I know some of you might not like reading my blog, due to my blunt, straight forwarded and sensitive opinions.
But wth, those people can buzz off for all I care (:

So yeah.
To all those people,
im still here to let you indulge with all these sh!ts.

And to my blogreaders (if i have any :p),
Cheerios!

1630

2006-06-15T18:32:00.000+08:00

Im on hiatus.
See ya and have fun blogging.
G'bye.

061506

2006-06-15T17:25:00.000+08:00

Im putting you on ignore as of now on.
You know who you are.
Thank you lots.

regards,
ekal.

questionaire.

2006-06-14T02:35:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Eka.
Here goes.

Three schools I went to:
Yung An Pri Sch.
Hong Kah Sec Sch.
ITE Clementi.

Three things in my ~~hand~~bag:
Bottle of perfume.
A notebook.
And lots of batu.

Three things I do when I'm stressed:
Eat.
Stare blankly.
And do nothing. Hah.

Three places I go on a daily basis:
School.
7-eleven. (Heh)
Home.

Three favourite fruits:
Banana.
Honeydew.
Oranges.

Three names I go by:
Haikal.
Ekal.
Haikel.

Three of my favourite food:
Nasi goreng.
Laksa.
Sushi.

Three things I'm wearing right now:
Plain black tee.
Three quarter pants.
And erm, my undie.

Who is in the house with me:
Mom.
Dad.
Bro.
Gegerl.
Grams.

Who am I thinking of right now?
Myself.

Who did I last talk to on the phone?
Kenny. That bugger called to tell me about the attendance letter.

Who was the last person I uttered love to?
Huh?

Who do I wish I am with right now?
Bill Gates. So he can spoil me even more.

Who gets on my nerves most in school?
That girl with the curly hair and big bOObs.
Elton John.
Ms Edna Mode.
That guy whos always holding onto his helmet. (Dier gluekan agaknyer)

Where is my phone?
On the printer.

Where do I sleep?
In my room.
On the bed.

Where is the place I took a ride to?
Errr.

What was the last thing I ate?
Fried spring chicken w/ grams.

What colour shirt am I wearing now?
Black.

What is the closest item to me that is blue?
The three quarter pants Im wearing.

What do I like most about school?
Kissing butts.

What is my favourite colour?
PuRPLe

What do I wear most often, jeans or shorts?
Shorts.

What was the last movie I watched?
The Wig. And that was in LT.

When did I start school?
Five-years-old.

When did I last go to the mall?
Last week.

When did I last burn something?
I hardly use any form of fire.

3 bloggers to do this:
Dil.
Nora.
Fiza.

bullshit.

2006-06-14T02:06:00.000+08:00

Im absolutely unhappy.
I think I will be getting a letter from ITE regarding my attendence. Damnit.
The percentage for my core modules is quite good.
But just because of my attendence for lifeskills module sucks, the letter that I fear most is coming my way.
And of course, mom will start her memekak at these small little things.

I dont have an idea why my attendance sucks, cause I have always been attending lessons frequently.
Even some people whom I rarely see them in class, got the same percentage as mine.
Bullshit rite?

Ah fcuk.
Blogging about this matter is of no use.
Tomorrow first thing in the morning, I'ma open the letterbox and throw that letter away before it gets into mom's hands.
Wahhhhhhhh.

the imprint remains.

2006-06-13T02:11:00.000+08:00

Im feeling very emotional rite now.

I'm forgetting my past.
Put aside everything and try not getting back to it.
Forgot all those sad moments. Miseries. Being left alone.
Dark dirty deeds which I had done.
Banished the once spoilt child who is self-centred, lack of moral, lack of everything which other people had.
Forgotten and forgave everyone who'd hurt me in anyways.
Forgave the father who forgot his child.
The Godmother who left will always be kept in heart.

Im letting go of my past and moving on.
Am not holding back .
Am still waiting for the day to happen.
I shall wait.
I shall wait.
For, I know, that its gonna hapen somehow, and that will be the day of my life.

Ok. Please ignore me if it doesnt make any sense to you.
Wahhhhhhh. Had a headache while breaking down for awhile. Haha.
Im all good now.

i call her gegerl.

2006-06-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

Her name is Girl if you didnt know.
And no. Shes not Siamese. Haha.
Her breed is of the Chocolate Tipped British Shorthair.
So yeah, shes a MOD. Haha.

My, the darling cat has grown so much and is very big now.

And of course, she's getting lazier and inactive each day.
Fed her too much I suppose. Haha.
3 years ago when we bought her, she was this super-duper hyperactive 3 month old kitten.
Even my house was pest-less.
No cockroach no nothing.
But not anymore.
Shes not doing her work.
Damn.

But still, i love my darling cat, though she can get pretty demanding and annoying if I forgot to feed her.

Heh.

fly me to the moon- julie london.

2006-06-12T03:11:00.000+08:00

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among those stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby kiss me

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

[Instrumental Bridge]

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true
In other words, in other words, I love...you

cravings.

2006-06-07T12:31:00.000+08:00

My cravings as of now:

Famous Amos cookies.
Prima Deli chocolate fudge.
Mars ice cream bar.
Old Chang Kee.
Takoyaki Balls.
Laksa.
Mee maggi goreng.
Jurong Point Banquet dumpling noodles.
KFC Cheesefries.

There.
Kalah tekak jiran aku yang tengah mengandung.
Hee.

penawar rindu.

2006-06-04T23:25:00.000+08:00

Yesterday's chalet at Kak Yan's was great.
I miss them dear cousins.
The gathering is much needed by me.
I've not seen them for quite a while and took this chance to ubatkan rindu, though i have promised earlier that I'll stay at home to study.
Oh well. At least I still did something fruitful.

We sat down and chatted while we ate those bbq stuffs.
Played UNO.
Omg. Now whens the last time I played Uno.
I wonder.

And oh yeah, mom drove our family car for the first time on the way to the chalet.
Jurong to Pasir Ris dammit.
Not bad for beginners I'd say.
You go ~~girl~~ mom!

People on the road should really be considerate and not bully beginners like my mom.
Fcukers.
See the triangle sign only wanna bully.
Knn ccb.

Whoever the person who tried to make mom panicked, shall be damned and hit a lamp post or something.
Hah!
Beat that.

24 (o.s.t ultraviolet)- jem

2006-06-04T23:15:00.000+08:00

Been given 24 hours
To tie up loose ends
To make amends
His eyes said it all
I started to fall
And the silence deafened

Head spinning round
No time to sit down
Just wanted to
Run and run and run
Be careful they say
Don't wish life away,
Now I've one day

And I can't believe
How I've been wasting my time

In 24 hours they'll be
Laying flowers
On my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
Need your blessing
And your promise to live free
Please do it for me

Is there a heaven and hell
And will I come back
Who can tell
Now I can see
What matters to me
It's as clear as crystal

The places I've been
The people I've seen
Plans that I made
Start to fade
The sun's setting gold
Thought I would grow old,
It wasn't to be

And I can't believe
How I've been wasting my time

In 18 hours they'll be
Laying flowers
On my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
Need your blessing
And your promise to live free
Please do it for me

In 13 hours they'll be
Laying flowers
On my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
Need your blessing
And your promise to live free
Please do it for me

I'm not alone, I sense it, I sense it
All that I said, I meant it, I meant it

And I can't believe
How much I've wasted my time

In just 8 hours they'll be
Laying flowers
On my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
Need your blessing
And your promise to live free
Please do it for me

In just 1 hour they'll be
Laying flowers
On my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
Need your blessing
And your promise to live free
Please do it for me

tgif.

2006-06-02T11:00:00.000+08:00

School is such a bore these days.
I dont feel the need to go to school anymore.
Each lesson is like a total waste of time.

But on a lighter note, my attendence improved!
93%.
Haha.
Shall keep up it up and maintain it and not go below 90%
cause then, Yeo will send letter of warning straight to my letterbox.
And of course, mom will turn into a hungry lioness screaming at me.

Attended a concert thingy in school just now.
Its about erm.... 'good services'. I think.
I dont know wats the purpose of the concert but I find it real tacky.
The only refreshing part was the dancers on stage.
The rest of the segments were like.. ZZzzz.

Yey.
Thank God its Friday.
Been looking forward to the weekends to do a bit of projects and do LOTS and LOTS of revision.
Im for real this time round ok.
Good Day (insert Aussie accent)

pfft.

2006-06-01T18:13:00.000+08:00

Found this on a person's profile on friendster, who's peeping mine.

Favorite Music:
PunK RocK: Avril Lavigne (WTH?), Linkin Park. Greenday (WTH?), Good Charlotte (????), All American Rejects (pfft), Mike Shinoda. <3

This person should really know what he's talkin about, before opening his mouth, or in this case, starts typing.

Avril Lavigne is not punk rock for crying out loud.
Same goes to Good Charlotte and All American Rejects.
They're all pop and/or pop-punk.

And please, know how to spell the name of your favorite bands before putting it on the profile.
Sheesh.

the king, the philosopher and the maniac.

2006-05-31T22:08:00.000+08:00

Mr Philosophy was right.
Perhaps we need to becareful about the flu around us.
Its not like earthquake, or volcanic eruptions or tsunamis which is visible; that we can literally witness.

Maybe I should take precautions and stop having chicken.
Im paranoid, yes.
Funny how my paranoia didnt stop me from eating chicken. Heh.
But how do I live w/o chicken??
Why does it have to be those chickens out of all food???

Miss Edna Mode wasn't all that bad.
Im so surprised that she can actually connect quite well with us.
But still, I hate her.
I dont know.
I just hate the way she conduct lessons.

I miss our sarcastic King.
His stoopid jokes, his sarcastic words all that.
I hope he's doing fine wherever he is right now.
I want him back here A.S.A.P.

I wonder if he misses our class though.
Haha.
You think?

ekal, ade kucing baru?.

2006-05-31T21:26:00.002+08:00

I thought this was funny.
And perhaps, silly too.

FiEzA_ZuLhYrWaN says
ekal, ade kucing baru?
[ekaL] A cat named Easter. says:
tak. asl?
FiEzA_ZuLhYrWaN says:
nick
[ekaL] A cat named Easter. says:
ya Allah.
[ekaL] A cat named Easter. says:
haha!
FiEzA_ZuLhYrWaN says:
???
[ekaL] A cat named Easter. says:
its just a nick.
[ekaL] A cat named Easter. says:
haha.
FiEzA_ZuLhYrWaN says:
ouh... hehe

famous amos.

2006-05-31T19:40:00.000+08:00

Am in love with Tori Amos, musically and physically.
That pretty face.
The shiny red locks.
And those SMALL SQUINTY SILVERY eyes. Sigh.
I swear shes the hottest redhead alive.

A question for the lesbians,
does she make you go gay?
Just curious.
Haha.

bliss- tori amos.

2006-05-31T19:10:00.000+08:00

Father, I killed my monkey
I let it out to
Taste the sweet of spring
Wonder if I will wander out
Test my tether to
See if I'm still free
From you

Steady as it comes
Right down
To you
I've said it all
So maybe we're a Bliss
Of another kind

Lately, I"m in to circuitry
What it means to be
Made of you but not enough for you
And I wonder if
You can bilocate is that
What I taste
Your supernova juice
You know it's true I"m part of you

Steady as it comes
Right down
To you
I've said it all
So maybe we're a Bliss
Of another kind

Steady as it comes
Right down to you
I've said it all
So maybe you've a four horse engine
With a power drive
A hot kachina who wants into mine
Take it with your terracide

Steady as it comes
Right down
To you
I've said it all
I said a Bliss
Of another kind
I said a Bliss
Of another kind
I said a Bliss
Of another kind
So maybe we're a Bliss
A Bliss of
A Bliss of A Bliss of We're a Bliss
Of another kind

0304.

2006-05-30T06:48:00.000+08:00

Class starts at 0930 hrs, which is about 3 hours away.
Im still up doing my business.
I've got to kick this habit of not sleeping at night.
Its affecting my health, I know.
And worst, my skin is having breakouts due to this habit of mine.
Someone, please slap me.

I just cant help it.
I came home everyday, feeling very tired and next thing I know,
I found myself lying on the bed and the clock shows 11pm.
Great. No one wakes me up.
Obviously I cant depend on bro to wake me.
That rat. Tak boleh harap langsung.

TPS lecture today.
Anne Soon conducting I think.
-sigh-
2 blardy hours.
I'ma use that time to have my ~~beauty~~ sleep.

I hope she wont call out my name again, just like last week.
Blardy hell.
Have to come out to the front and locate stoopid Disneyland on the world map.
PAISEH sial.

Blergh.
Ignore me.
I get cranky when I havent had my sleep.

See ya in skool Flamingo.

ouh, look who's talkin'.

2006-05-29T00:49:00.000+08:00

Im feeling like this, these past few days:

I dont really know why.
Perhaps I was reading an entry off this particular blog, and started to smile widely.
Karma got all of you after all.

Theres more to look forward too (:
Heeee.
Weeeee.
Yeaaahhh.

crucify- tori amos.

2006-05-27T07:18:00.000+08:00

Every finger in the room
is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get afraid of what that could bring

I got a bowling ball in my stomach
I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell our now
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets

I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what God needs
One more victim

[Chorus:]
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Got a kick for a dog
Beggin' for Love
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my cross

I know a cat named Easter
He says will you ever learn
You're just an empty cage girl
If you kill the bird

[Chorus:]
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in

Got enough guilt to start
my own religion
Please be
Save me
I cry

[Chorus:]
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
And my heart is sick of being in chains

the liscence is waiting for you.

2006-05-25T00:58:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

Tomorrow will be mom's driving exam.
May I pray that she'll pass her exam.
After all her hardwork, patience, the time and money which costed her,
I think she'll be greatful if you could bless her tomorrow.

Please, let it be.

Yours,

ekal

the confused lecturer.

2006-05-23T05:43:00.000+08:00

You're the worst lecturer I've ever came across.
You and Yeo.
Both of you should marry each other and breed stoopid kids.
Useless unreliable crap.

Fcuk.
How could you.
You bloodily forced us to bring in someone whom me and teammates didnt want to.
Besides, we already had 5 people and each of us had done our researches and tasks.
Its blardy unfair if we bring him in now and have him spoonfed.

If he doesnt have a group, its he's fcukin business.
Not mine. Not ours.
You deal with him yourself.
Not with us.

You should've at least consulted us privately first, and then ask us wether we wanted him in.
You did not.
You fcukin forced us on the spot, infront of that guy.
Takkan nak cakap taknak depan2 kan?

Your actions could've cost me another bitter situation with someone.
I dont want to have another bitter situation with someone, especially in the class.
I want to have a good reputation.

Besides, theres another group whose having only 4 people.
Why didnt you ask them instead?

You actually have to bribe other groups to take that guy for extra marks.
Haha.
What can I say.
The fish bites.

But its alright.
We dont need those extra marks.
We'd rather work our way to the top as a team, then to actually work with a spoonfed free-rider.

Oh gawd.
Im so not looking forward to lecture tomorrow if youre gonna conduct it.

placebo- song to say goodbye.

2006-05-23T05:40:00.000+08:00

You are one of God's mistakes
You crying, tragic waste of skin
I'm well aware of how it aches
And you still won't let me in

Now I'm breaking down your door
To try and save your swollen face
Though I don't like you anymore
You lying, trying waste of space
My Oh My

A song to say goodbye
A song to say goodbye
A song to say

Before our innocence was lost
You were always one of those
Blessed with lucky sevens
And the voice that made me cry
My Oh My

You were mother nature's son
Someone to whom I could relate
Your needle and your damage done
Remains a sorted twist of fate

Now I'm trying to wake you up
To pull you from the liquid sky
Coz if I don't we'll both end up
With just your song to say goodbye
My Oh My

A song to say goodbye
A song to say goodbye
A song to say

Before our innocence was lost
You were always one of those
Blessed with lucky sevens
And the voice that made me cry

It's a song to say goodbye

slap me please.

2006-05-21T22:38:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow there will be a progress test on Office Administration.
And i havent started studying yet.
Didnt even attempt to read a single thing on that darn OA notes.
WTH.

Cant believe I'm procrastinating again.
Cant believe Im coming off as a NATO.
Fuck.

I havent learn any lesson and correct the mistakes I've made.
Sigh.
Masih tak serik2 lagi.

note to self

2006-05-19T05:31:00.000+08:00

Beautiful- Christina Aguilera

Everyday is so wonderful
Then suddenly
It's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain
I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can't bring me down
Ohh no
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends you're delirious
You're so consumed
In all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone
Left the puzzle undone
That's the way it is

You are beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
Ohh no
You are beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can't bring you down
Ohh no
So don't you bring me down today

No matter what we do
No matter what we say
The sun will shine your way
'Cause you are beautiful today

Everywhere we go
The sun won't always shine
But tomorrow's another day
So keep on looking to the sky

We are beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can't bring us down
Ohh no
We are beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can't bring us down
Ohh no
So don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down
Today

********

Sigh.
Retrogal, nows my turn to feel depress.

spencer and barbara

2006-05-18T20:40:00.000+08:00

This video is amazing.
I absolutely love this.
Everything.
The dancers, the old women, the band itself, their music.

I wana go to Coldplay's Twisted Logic tour dammit.
Ive got no money in hand.
Now where am I gonna dig $148?
Sigh.
I have no other alternatives but to pester mom. Heh.

pissed

2006-05-18T02:59:00.000+08:00

Oh fuck.
I jus found out that Office Administration class was cancelled.
Damn me for not paying attention in class.

PIE- 10am.
OA- 11am.
Lunch- 12am.
OA (again)- 1pm.
TPS- 2pm.

For sure Im not gonna waste my blardy time just to attend one hour of PIE and then wait for 3 freakin hours for TPS.
Fuck.

Have to attend only one blardy class at 2pm-4pm.
Puas hati aku membuta kat rumah.
Pffft.

dirty

2006-05-16T19:20:00.000+08:00

Im gonna make this very clear and straight forward as possible.
If you're talking behind my back, please, i beg you, do not be nice infront of me.
You dont have to talk, smile and wave at me when you see me passing by infront of you.

Dont make me respond to your actions.
Because I dont wanna be labelled the same label as you filthy hypocrites.

Get it?
Ok.

i want to go on a killing spree.

2006-05-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

Im depressed.
Double depressed.
Am not coming to skool tomorrow.

Go away.
Shoo.

the kill- 30 seconds to mars

2006-05-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do?

Kill
Break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for
I'm not running from you

Kill
Break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am

Kill
Break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
Come, break me down
Break me down
Break me down

What if I wanted to break...?

new skin

2006-05-15T22:01:00.000+08:00

testing

because of u

2006-05-10T03:17:00.000+08:00

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

blardy fuck

2006-05-04T21:51:00.000+08:00

Take responsibility for your self motherfucker.
Dont keep complaining and whining, cos either of that is not of any help.

You whine because every group refuse to take you in.
Everyone knew you fucking COMPLAIN and WHINE whenever you are given a task.
You complain like one bloody-fuck.
I've heard it all before.
I've seen it all before.
Now, how is that suppose to convince them, or me for that matter, to bring you into their groups?

Being ignorant is not enough for you.
Youre coming off as an asshole.
I know this is none of my business, but
You bloodily CONNED your own mother.
What sort of a human are you, conning your own mother?

And you used the money untuk melawa and then show off.
Kalau orangnyer lawa takper jugak.
Sheesh.

And please dont keep saying, "Easy for you to say lah. You rich wat".
Ummm no.
Rich is Paris Hilton and Bill Gates.
I hate people who thinks Im this 'spoilt brat/ only-child'.
I get that a lot and Ive had enough.

Even if you know youre not 'rich', then why do you have the fuck to satisfy all your greeds?
And then brag and brag, talk rubbish and ask stoopid questions.
Youre too much.
Ugghhh.

ohshutup

2006-05-04T02:21:00.000+08:00

Im annoyed.
Especially at the people who kept asking, "Eh kau pakai foundation eh?"
For the very last time. NO.
I do not use any freaking cosmetics dammit.

I am treating my skin with the help of a dermatologist.
I have to eat pills and use creams, as precsribed by the derma.
And its causing my skin to be dry all day, causing my skin to look as though i use foundation.
I myself, am annoyed cause at the same time, it makes me very uncomfortable being in my own skin.

AND. I do not use BLUSHERS dammit!
This, is by far, the most stoopidest comment I've ever came across.
Its the pimples that causes my skin to look reddish-pinkish from far.

So there.
I have proven my point.
Besides, why would I wana use cosmetics when I already have a BAD skin?
It'd only worsen my skin condition for all I care.

2006-04-29T03:51:00.000+08:00

Finally had the time to update this fucken blog.
First of all, I would like to apologise to the people who kept pestering me to update.
Secondly, I will not be updating this blog regularly because I lost my sense of blogging.

Ok so school starts in three days.
I am oh so looking forward to it.
Ive never been so enthusiastic to go to school.
Cant wait for all the stress to come.
Im worked up.
Im gonna give the best that I have.

I have to come up w/ a lot of gifts for upcoming May.
Birthday gifts and Mommy's Day.
To the people celebrating their birthday in May, have a wonderful birthday in advanced.
May god bless you and dipanjangkan umur.
Ok that was totally random.

This is not a proper update. I know.

2006-04-07T05:06:00.000+08:00

To whom it may concern,

RE: IM GETTING INSANE HERE

If you havent realised, you're actually controlling my life rediculously.
Its like Im being terrorized by you.
You're being too extreme and narrow-minded.
Perhaps I should nickname you Extremist.. or maybe Supervisor.

Hello?
Its me whose living my life.
I deserve the right to decide my future and obviously, I deserve the right to choose whatever I wana do.
And whatever I do, I am the one who will face the consequences.
Not you.

2006-04-04T03:50:00.000+08:00

She may not win the competition but still, DEAN is our Campus Superstar (;

Went to our campus the other day to support Geraldine, who is representing ITE College West Clementi for the Channel U singing competition, Campus Superstar.

Initially, i didnt wanna go down to our campus, becos Samson told us that Mediacorp is going to shoot live in our skool.
I did not wana see myself on TV and also because... I sto0pid go and cut my hair and make myself look uglier.

But I made up my mind on the last minute, and decided to go for the sake of a friend (and partly becos my sarcastic lecturer kept pestering me.)

Samson: "Haikel!!!!! You came! Thank you. I feel like hugging you"
Okayyyyy. WTH?!?

Me: "Yes of course I came. Im your faithful student ok......."

So into the Lecture Theatrette I went and i found out, the crowd was such a disappointment.
And there were only like 7 people from our class, who came down. Heh.
I was sitting there cheering like crazy and I realised, I didnt regret coming to our campus at all cos' everyone gets free food.

And since the ETP club cookies and milo were on-house, I actually kept asking for their cookies numerous times.
Think the person in-charge got frustrated at me.
But who cares??
Its not like she's paying for it.
Infact she's ORDERED to do her duty.
Sheesh.

Overall, I DID enjoy it.

2006-04-04T01:22:00.000+08:00

Holidays are such a bore.
I jus realised i didnt like holidays at all.
Sheesh.

But luckily, youtube.com is there to be my saviour.
If youre bored, i suggest you go watch videos over there.
It helps overcome your boredom. Really.

So I was watching videos of Avril Lavigne, the performer who changed my taste in music.
She has grown so much all these years, from an angsty rock star to erm... almost lady-like. (She's now a Model with Ford Models btw)

Above: Avril with her trademark back then, tie over top (2002)

Above: Avril ala a Scandinavian Supermodel (2004)

Above: One of her modeling photoshoots (2006)

Above: She's even being seen catching Chanel's Haute-Couture Spring-Summer 2006 fashion show. Shes cute alrite (:

Above: Whoa o.O

Above: OMFG. This is what you wont get to see everyday o_____O

Not only have she grown maturely, but her music matures too.
Back in her debut days, people accused her of not being able to play the guitar.
Some people even think she cant sing AT ALL.
And worst, some even think she has got no TALENT.

Check this out......

Above: Lavigne on guitars performing Nobody's Home.

Above: Lavigne on the Grand Piano performing Together

Above: On drums performing Blur's classic, Song 2 (A vey short clip though)

Above: Performing Take Me Away

Above: Lavigne performing Iris, with Goo Goo Dolls. Astonishing.

See? Shes talented OKAY.

2006-04-01T05:07:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: July 11

Spiritual and thoughtful, you tend to take a step back from the world.
You're very sensitive to what's going on around you, yet you remain calm.
Although you are brilliant, it may take you a while to find your niche.
Your creativity is supreme, but it sometimes makes it hard for you to get things done.

Your strength: Your inner peace

Your weakness: You get stuck in the clouds

Your power color: Emerald

Your power symbol: Leaf

Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Indeed true.

2006-03-31T20:01:00.000+08:00

I tink its TIME-- time I stop my IGNORANCE and reply to all the OVERDUED messages in my tagboard.
Sorry people. Ive been very busy lately. (uhhhhh.. I wont say lazy. Heh)

Titi: Of course I noe you. Neway, all the best in poly life kays. And tanks for commenting on my blog. Stay sexy!

Fhasha: Thanks. Me? Inspire you? Whoa.

Ashikin: Sorie eh. Heh. I'll skip that entry.

Adam: Yep. Ive moved. Sorie for nt informing earlier (:

Nor: Hello Nor. Tanks. But i dont really like the green skin. Guess its a lil' too feminine. Thats why you gals love it so much (;

Juni: Yeah green!!!!! And yeah. This new skin looked like one of yer frens. Especially the stars. (I actually blogghopped to her blog and like the idea of the stars.. so yeah) But the pic above is clearly designed by me (:

Kartika: Heh. Tanks. But I dont tink I will do as well in my end of year exams though.

Nora: Yeah. I like the poster too. Nice.

DiL: Errr since the exams are already over... gd luck for ur RESULTS???

Juni: Tanks. My art isnt great lah. Condoms. Hahaha!!!

Kartika: OMG! Haha. I cant imagine if you were to handle a case in court. Confirm WIN! (;

ILa: YEAH!!! EXAMS ARE SO OVER!!!! Gotta enjoy it b4 skool reopens when the misery will come again. And tanks for commenting on my skin. I like it too.

So there.
Wat a relieve.

2006-03-31T17:39:00.000+08:00

Lunch jus now was great, although I had a hard time choosing non-meat dishes.
Met Hawa and Nazurah, my ex-sec school mates.
Theyre workin over there as banquet waitress. Cool.
I'd love to work in a hotel.

While on there, I have to constantly remind bro every 6.3 seconds to use the right eating etiquette and table manners, cos we're in a hotel and its not a public place like Mcdonalds or Burger King where you can eat like an animal.

And OMG.
Theres this ........... so cute sial.
Boleh cair.

Ok. So right back on.
The people there were all very nice.
Very good service and hospitality.

So we left. Took cab and ask the driver to drive us to Wisma Atria initially.
But the blardy fucker took us on a 'vacation'.
So I demand him to stop at Takashimaya instead, upon seeing The Heeren.

So I bought Placebo's new released album Meds.
Not bad. I like.

2006-03-31T07:08:00.000+08:00

Exams are FINALLY over!!!!!
Believe it or not, the moment I hand in the last paper to the invigilator, my head suddenly went wooooooo~
All the stress, all the beban, all the sh*ts suddenly went away.

The paper was okay i suppose although theres two chapters which i didnt really concentrate came out.
But its ok, i gave my best.
I dont hope for much except for a C. *sempat calculate GPA time exam. hah*

Im thinkin of getting a job.
Maybe im going for job-hunting later.
But for now, Im going to Shangri La Hotel to have lunch.
Tootles!

2006-03-29T14:01:00.000+08:00

Ok this is random stuff.
I actually wana be a Lawyer, if not an Art Teacher or an Entrepeneur or perhaps a Personal Assistant.

Lawyer because it seems fun debating.
I like debates. But I do not have the qualities of a Lawyer.
A lawyer should be able to fight back their opponents with words-- something which I cant.
A lawyer should also be alert and sharp-minded-- Im not. Im too darn slow in practically almost EVERYTHINGs.
Good english is also a must for lawyers-- My english is hancur. I ~~achieved~~ got a pathetic C6 for my English.

Art teacher. This is like so expired.
My dreams of studying in NAFA to become an Art teacher hancur-berkecai.
Not enough credits to take up the Art as Teaching course.
And perhaps, my grade for Art and Design isnt THAT great.

So yeah. Now Im in ITE Clem.
Studying basic principles of business.
I'd either end up becoming a Personal Assistant, Public Relations Officer.... or perhaps an Entrepeneur-- something which I've always never wanted to become.
Partly because, my whole extended family hates taking risks, prefering to work with a company/organisation.
BUT, i tink being an entrepeneur is being professional.

Personal Assistant is not bad.
Secretary?
Possible?
Male secretary? Haha.

I still have chances.
All this can be achieved.
But i have to remind myself to not only TALK, but put some actions to it.
You shouldnt even TALK the TALK, if you cant WALK the WALK.
Hah!

2006-03-29T04:20:00.000+08:00

Okayyyyy this is so wrong:

How can Anastacia be singing along with Mandy Moore and Mya??
Their voices are all drowning and theyre like so inferior standing beside ~~my dear~~ Anastacia.
Hur hur.
.
.
.
.

Ahhhh... this is so so much better.
Anastacia being compared alongside Celine Dion.
Perfect.

2006-03-26T21:15:00.000+08:00

Ok. So theres this chicken pie and Mars ice-cream bar infront of me.
Im gonna finish this entry as quickly as possible and gobble up what I've been craving for.

So anyway, BCM paper tomorrow.
I didnt know how to write a single fuck yesterday.
But todae, I had someone to help clear that for me.

Uhhhh... so good luck everyone!

2006-03-25T03:51:00.000+08:00

Im a new Deviant.
Heres my Deviant Gallery.

2006-03-25T00:13:00.000+08:00

You Are A: Kitten!

Cute as can be, kittens are playful, mischevious, and ever-curious. Like you, kittens hate getting wet. Kittens are often loving, but are known to scratch or bite when annoyed. These adorable animals are the most popular pets in the United States--37% of American households have at least one cat. Whether it is your gentle purr or your disarming appearance, you make a wonderful kitten.

You were almost a: Bear Cub or a Groundhog
You are least like a: Pony or a Duck What Cute Animal Are You?

Tis is fun.
Heh.

2006-03-24T03:20:00.000+08:00

Haha!

2006-03-23T04:10:00.000+08:00

Cat survives 80 feet fall from tree.

Read more.

See the pictures and watch the video here.

Perhaps its true that cats have nine lives.

2006-03-23T02:25:00.000+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Ekal!

It takes 8 minutes for light to travel from the Sun's surface to ekal.
Ekal has three eyelids.
Ekal has four noses.
Ekal once came third in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.
The most dangerous form of ekal is the bicycle.
Michelangelo finished his great statue of ekal in 1504, after eighteen months work!
Ekal is the only bird that can swim but not fly.
About 100 people choke to death on ekal each year!
Tradition allows women to propose to ekal only during leap years!
Two grams of ekal provide enough energy to power a television for over twenty-three hours!

Wow.
Pure stupidity we got over here.
Especially #5.

2006-03-23T01:37:00.000+08:00

So Samson told us our results for PR Special Event and Case Study.
My team-mate and I scored 18/20 for both. *SCORE!*
Not bad I suppose.
Im proud that we achieved THAT much, considering theres only 2 of us werkin in a group and we are able to pull it off.

.... AND, most people got 16/20.
So yeah. I thank God for that.

What I've achieved so far:

Events Management (Project): 90/100 *topped the class with another person. haha*
Public Relations (Special Event): 18/20
Public Relations (Case study): 18/20
Public Relations (CA1): 33/50 ~~*ok this is atrocious*~~
Business Communications (Listening Compre): 25/30
Business Communications (Roleplay): B+
Business Communications (Presentation): B

2006-03-22T03:36:00.000+08:00

From one of Mad Tv's play.
Abercrombie and Fitch.
Haha.

2006-03-22T03:07:00.002+08:00

Halle Berry. Nice.
I am gonna watch it if the sequel really comes out.
But i prefer Jolie to play Alba's role instead.

2006-03-22T02:48:00.000+08:00

Designed a new skin yet again.
My best one yet.
Used brushes and lyrics from Evanescence's Tourniquet.

2006-03-21T02:02:00.000+08:00

Was studying.
But I simply cant concentrate. Sigh.
7 more days to exams. SIGH.

I got an undeniably large pimple beside my left eye. SIGH.
It makes my left eye look peculiar.
I hope it stays there for a few days.
If not, im gonna squeeze it. *grins*

Mom bought for me a new pair of glasses, after breaking the same pair THREE TIMES.
Got sick of the old black design and pick a new design.
But i hate the new design anyway. Haha.

I dont wish to come to skool tomorrow.
Especially Yeo's class.
Haha. Kesian dier kene bodoh2.
HAHA.

Tink I better get back to studying.
Blergh.

2006-03-19T23:35:00.000+08:00

Ive done this before a few months ago. But I shall do it again.
Please excuse me if I have posted any of these weird facts before.

Tagged by: Lee

The Rules: The first player of this game starts with the topic 5 weird facts about yourself, and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their 5 weird facts as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Do not forget to leave a comment that says, You are tagged in their blog and tell them to read yours.

5 weird things:
[1] I hate seafoods. I dont go crazy over prawns and crabs like some weirder people do. Haha.
[2] Im like a living volcano. I dont erupt easily. But when I do, I erupt terribly.
[3] I havent open the dustbin chute in the kitchen for as long as i can remember.
[4] I get so obsessive wen it comes to washing my hands. Even when i touched the living room floor.
[5] I like wat others dont, and i hate wat others like. Weird enough???

2006-03-17T19:17:00.000+08:00

[Penawar Rindu]

So i visited my Grams after two months of not seeing her.
I missed her terribly.

Geeez.
Tears started to form behind my eyes when she said "Dah lame Nyae tak nampak Haikal".
Omg. I swear i was about to cry.But i didnt.
I went to the toilet and cleared those tears instead. Haha.

This Grams of mine, she took out almost EVERY edible food she got in her cabinet and fridge to let us devour.
We never told her we're coming, cos we dont want her to cook.
But its of no use. She still cook for us anyway.
We always fail in that.

Went home, and watched Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire DVD my bro bought .
This is the first time Im watching after its movie premiere three-four months ago. Wats new? Haha.

And we watched Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam 2.
My stoopid bro insisted that I watch that darn show with him at 1am in the morning.
But in the end, he said he wana sleep.
Fuck. Dragged me to watch that show, and then left me alone when I cant sleep.
And yesterday is Malam Jumaat!!!!
I had nightmares after that ok!!
And im not even telling the slightest lies!!

We continued to watch that darn show again jus now.
Scarry sial. The sequel to this movie is infact freakier then the last one.
This time, they focused more on 'Fatimah Rocker'.
Hiding beneath the table...
Staring at the baby opposite the staircase grill....
Crawling diagonally across the wall... WTF?!?

I hope I ~~wont~~ will never ever get nightmares again ~~tonite~~.
*touches wood*

Fuck

2006-03-17T18:53:00.000+08:00

Fuck.
I dont have the slightest idea why it says "Forbidden You don't have permission to access / on this server" in my old blog.

Bloody hell.

For now, this will be my temporary blog until my old one recovered, which i dont think it will ever happen.

Blergh.